What is domestic violence ?
Definition, forms and cycle
Based on La politique d'intervention en matière de violence conjugale (Gouvernement du Québec, 1995) and reiterated in the Plan d'action gouvernemental en matière de violence conjugal (2018-2023), "domestic violence is characterized by a series of repetitive acts, usually of increasing frequency and intensity. Specialists refer to this progression as the cycle of violence.
In the person committing the abuse, it proceeds according to a defined cycle, through successive phases marked by mounting tension, abuse, rationalization, reconciliation and a calm period. For the victim, these phases correspond to fear, anger, a feeling of responsibility for the violence and, lastly, the hope that the situation will improve. It should be noted that not all of these phases are always present and they do not necessarily follow that order.
Domestic violence includes psychological, verbal, physical and sexual abuse as well as acts of financial domination. It is not the result of a loss of control, but is a means chosen to dominate another person and assert one's power over that person. Domestic violence can be experienced in a marital, extra-marital or dating relationship, and at any age".
The cycle or walls of violence
Tension
The woman fears and anticipates the worst and attempts to reduce the tension. The spouse directs the responsibility to the woman. He is rigid and maintains unrealistic expectations. He feels anger, jealousy, impatience, etc.
Aggression
The 5 forms of violence erupt! The woman is in shock and likely to feel sadness, hatred, fear, anger, etc.
Invalidation
The spouse avoids remorse shame and guilt. He minimizes or justifies his actions. The woman feels responsible and minimizes her own emotions such as fear, anger and shame.
Forgiveness
The spouse expresses regret and wants to reconcile. He adopts behaviours likely to regain the woman's confidence. The woman agrees to give him another chance. The advantages of staying outweigh her losses and fear of leaving.
The 5 forms of violence
Psychological violence
(Making someone believe they are worthless, that everything is their fault and that they can't do anything right)
Manifestations: Criticism and humiliation, blame, sulking and ignoring, degrading and disrespectful attitudes, negligence, blackmail and threats, being violent towards objects and animals, etc.
Verbal violence
(To speak in a threatening manner. In other words, hidden threats may be implied in the tone of voice)
Manifestations: Insults, yelling and screaming, sarcasm, degrading and humiliating comments, blackmail and threats, etc.
Economic violence
(Related to financial and material resources)
Manifestations: Depriving or controlling someone's financial assests and/or personal belongings, monitoring and controlling someone's financial activity, creating a situation of financial dependance, buying gifts to compensate for violent behaviour, etc.
Sexual violence
(Forced or non-consensual sexual activities)
Manifestations: Sexual aggressions, imposing degrading acts (forcing someone to wear erotic clothing, to watch pornography, or to impose sexual positions), manipulation or brutality in the face of a non-consensual sexual relationship, pushing someone to have unprotected sex or with other people, degrading someone's physique and sexual ability, etc.
Physical violence
(It is the easiest to recognize. Psychological violence has already been present when physical violence is manifested)
Manifestations: Push or shove, clasp arms, pull hair, throw objects on a person, threaten with a weapon, burns, fractures, bites, immobilisation, murder, etc.
The walls or cycle of violence